This is a guest post by Lisa Levi.
If you look at the divorce statistics, you can see every second couple in America is getting divorced or is divorced. Every year thousands of children find themselves living with a single parent. This takes a big hit on children's development.
When you file for divorce, the very first question the court asks is what is your plan for the upbringing of the child. You need to provide a drafted plan for the upbringing of the children. This includes a detailed step by step planning for the education , medical health care and other basic necessities of the child. While granting the divorce ,the court has the option to provide custody to any of the parent and provide visitation rights to the other parent.
There are four types of child custody that are offered by the court but it all depends on what is best for the children. Life after divorce is not easy and upbringing of the child by a single parent can be a bit difficult. In such circumstances, court grants a joint legal custody of the child to both the parents.
Joint Legal Custody
In this type, both the parents have to set aside their issues and work together for the betterment of the child.
Joint custody agreement after a bitter divorce can be exhausting. It gets really difficult for a person to forget what happened in the past and work together for the betterment of the child. Making joint decision, meeting up with ex spouse every now and then or talking to a person whom you want to forget as a bad nightmare can prove to be difficult but then this is how things are going to be.
In such a scenario, think about your new relation with your ex spouse as an all together new relation, which will help a lot. Take this relation as relation that is only existing because it is the best for your children.
Your marriage may be over but your family is not, your most important priority is to think about the betterment of the children. Putting the best interest of the children is the first step toward a mature responsible co-parenting.
Co -parenting is the best option for the child. If the child is getting attention and love from both the parents then they adjust more quickly to the divorce and develop better self esteem. If both the parents are involved in the parenting of the child then the child will develop as a complete person. The consistency of having both the parents around will be just like any other house hold with regular parents. It can be understood as a child living in a house with rotating shifts of parents. May be your relation with your ex spouse was not the ideal example you wanted to put in front of your children but then you can make up for this mistake. Present a good example to being a responsible parent by setting aside the past and making a new start by cooperating with the other parent. If you are successful in doing so , be sure that your child will learn the correct ethics and will carry them in future.
Another important tip post divorce that you can do is to stay focused on the best interests of the children. Throw away that massive ego of yours and work on co-operation with your ex spouse to work in the best interest of the children. At times, you will lose control on your emotion but then at those moments you should keep in mind the reason why you are doing this. You need to act responsible and graceful because here your child's interests are at stake and you are the person who can take care of it. Avoid using your kids as a messenger in order to convey some thing to your ex spouse. This will put your kid in a middle of your conflict with your ex spouse. You can prevent this from happening by communicating directly with your spouse or if you are not comfortable doing so then you can email or call your ex yourself.